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Meeting A Messenger On A Mission!

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Blogger’s Note: In the very near future, I will be doing an in-depth blog on hydrogen cyanide and carbon monoxide exposures to firefighters. This blog centers around my meeting with one of the fire industry’s pre-eminent authorities on hazardous materials and especially the “Toxic Twins”.

I can’t remember ever posting a blog that included pictures, but I had the privilege of interviewing two stars at Fire Rescue International in Chicago last week. One interview was on the floor of the convention center and the other was done in the friendly confines of the FirefighterNetcast booth.

On the left side of the first picture, you have me. As you can see, I tried to dress to resemble my profile picture in my blog spots so that I would be readily recognizable. While I was at the FireRescue1 booth getting my free T-shirt, they had their website up on a big screen and wouldn’t you know it; they had the bloggers page up and on MY blog. In that picture of me, I am wearing a white shirt and tie. People in line were looking at the screen and looking at me. They did it a couple of times and then I took my hat off to screams of “that IS you”. True story. I still giggle when I think about it.

On the right side of the picture is Steven Pasquale, who has done Broadway, movies, released a jazz CD and also played Firefighter Sean Garrity for the entire run of the Denis Leary hit TV series “Rescue Me”. Steven’s star power was being lent to Meridian Medical’s rollout of the new Cyanokits®. I was thrilled when I was asked to interview him and his co-star, whom I will mention momentarily, but I was only allotted 15 minutes, so my questions had to be short and focused. But his handlers had never dealt with ChiefReason before, so I was able to get about 25 minutes with both of my guests.

And besides; I had my crew with me-John Mitchell and Rhett Fleitz, my producers and Willie Wines was our photographer. We had the manpower edge and used it to my advantage.

The gentleman in the middle of the photo is Rob Schnepp, simply an amazing man. Steven Pasquale is fascinating, but Rob is amazing. Knowing that I could not tap the surface of this man’s expertise in a 15 – 20 minute sound bite, I had Rob scheduled for an interview in the podcast booth.

None of this would have been possible without a lot of help and coordination from Shawn Longerich, Executive Director of Cyanide Poisoning Treatment Coalition. Thank you, thank you, Shawn.

That said; let’s get back to it.

Rob has a passion. It is hazardous materials. Within that, he has a passion for the hazardous effects of smoke on civilians and firefighters. You literally turn on the EveryReady Bunny® when you ask him to talk about the effects of cyanide and carbon monoxide poisoning on firefighters. He is not Barney Fife with one bullet in his pocket; not even close! His resume’, his accomplishments and his published material is far and wide on topics of hazardous materials.

It makes perfect sense that Rob would be involved with the only FDA-approved cyanide antidote kit that is available in this country. We talked about the importance of quickly recognizing the symptoms of cyanide exposure, introducing the victims to the antidote and getting them to a hospital. Our time together flew by.

Don’t get me wrong; Steven Pasquale is a multi-talented entertainer and at 33 years old, he has accomplished more than many entertainers almost twice his age. I would compare him to Clint Eastwood, but Eastwood hasn’t done Broadway…yet! But then, Steven informed me that he doesn’t write, so they equal out and the comparison holds merit.

And Steven Pasquale’s appearance at Fire Rescue International on behalf of Meridian Medical makes sense. Steven clearly understood the importance of delivering cyanide antidote as quickly as possible, so his advocacy on behalf of firefighters is appreciated.

But, the “go to” guy for the Cyanokits® is Rob Schnepp. How they work, when to introduce them and the importance of pre-hospital care for symptoms of cyanide exposure are topics that are easily discussed with Rob.

We completed our work at Meridian’s booth, my production team left to return to the FirefighterNetcast booth and I hung around to get feedback. I found myself eyeball to eyeball with…Steven Pasquale. Honest to God; we stood there and talked for about 45 minutes on a wide range of topics and I might share those thoughts in a blog down the road.

Rob and Shawn showed up for the podcast at mid-morning. Rob would present on the topic of smoke to an afternoon audience.

The podcast went very well, but I feel that we merely scratched the surface of this man’s deep reservoir of knowledge, which is why I have every intention of having him on my show again in the near future. In the picture, Rob is again in the middle and FFNetcast producer John Mitchell is on the right.

Rob, keep spreading the word on the Toxic Twins, brother.

Even if that is one leader/one safety officer at a time.

The message is much too important to wait for some to come to their good senses.

The educational supplement “Smoke: Perceptions, Myths and Misunderstandings” from the Cyanide Poisoning Treatment Coalition is must reading.

Oh; and remind me to tell you about my conversation with Bobby Halton.

TCSS.

The article is protected by federal copyright law under The Adventures of Jake and Vinnie© umbrella. It is written and submitted by Art Goodrich a.k.a. ChiefReason. This article or any other article submitted under The Adventures of Jake and Vinnie© umbrella cannot be reproduced in ANY form without the expressed, written permission of the author. Violations are punishable by applicable laws.

Please visit: www.fireemsblogs.com and my blog www.chiefreasonart.com.

Posted by chiefreason on September 1, 2010 • Filed under: Firefighter Safety & Health, Miscellaneous, Special Operations • Tagged: , , , , , ,

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-08-22

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Posted by admin on August 22, 2010 • Filed under: Uncategorized

Nation’s Medevac Under Attack

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Some months ago, I blogged about the safety of the medevac industry. I wrote the blog shortly after we had a medevac helicopter go down here in Illinois, killing everyone aboard. Here is the blog: http://www.firefighternation.com/profiles/blogs/the-safety-of-air-ambulances.

USA Today ran a story on Thursday, August 19, 2010 that we should take notice of: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-08-19-1Amedivac19_ST_N.htm.

The headline for the article written by Alan Levin “Medevac Industry Opposing Upgrades Wanted by NTSB” is an attention grabber, because you have to wonder upon reading it, why anyone would oppose more safety in an industry that has had a recent, poor safety record.

So as not to violate copyright laws, I will encourage to use the link and read the article.

Since year 2000 to year-to-date, there have been 122 fatalities attributed to air ambulance crashes.

I understand that, in the larger scheme, the fatalities are a small percentage when compared to the thousands of flights, but when you call your service a “life flight”, the last thing you assume is that you are going to die taking one.

“Medevac” is an abbreviated term for “medical evacuation”. That is to say that a person(s) has a medical condition and they are being evacuated to a facility that can treat the patient’s medical condition. The whole premise is to get them safely to that facility, so it makes sense that every effort is made to do just that. That would include improved technology and equipment. It may very well include removing older air ambulances from service. It might also include night vision technology and warning systems designed to alert the pilot to an impending collision/crash.

So, why would the industry be opposed to it?

After 2007/2008, the industry DID take many voluntary steps to improve safety, but they were voluntary. Mandated change is what appears to be the hang up, but with 13 fatalities already this year, voluntary efforts don’t appear to be going far enough.

Without question, changes are going to add to the cost of running the service, but let’s face it; Life is priceless. It is heart-wrenching every time an air ambulance goes down and families are left to ask their questions.

So, is it a question of money or perceived government intrusion into an industry that wants the latitude to correct deficiencies on a voluntary basis or is it both? Is there more to it?

Where can sense and sensibility meet to reduce the number of air ambulance accidents and yet allow air ambulance operators to manage their business efficiently?

In rural America, where pre-hospital response times are often measured in miles, it is a question that will hopefully be answered very soon.

TCSS.

The article is protected by federal copyright law under The Adventures of Jake and Vinnie© umbrella. It is written and submitted by Art Goodrich a.k.a. ChiefReason. This article or any other article submitted under The Adventures of Jake and Vinnie© umbrella cannot be reproduced in ANY form without the expressed, written permission of the author. Violations are punishable by applicable laws.

Please visit: www.fireemsblogs.com and my blog www.chiefreasonart.com.

Posted by chiefreason on August 21, 2010 • Filed under: My Size Up • Tagged: , , , , , ,

Self Dispatch or Insurance Co. Saving Scratch?

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On April 16, 2005, Andover, IA volunteer firefighter Justin Faur attempted to rescue a co-worker who had fallen into a manure pit at his place of employment. Both men later died.

At issue with the fire department’s workers compensation insurance carrier was whether Faur was acting as a firefighter or as an employee as a result of his efforts to save his co-worker. The insurance company (Travelers) contended that Faur was not acting as a firefighter at the time.

This was just handed down recently by the Iowa Supreme Court. (http://qctimes.com/news/local/article_801f5f46-a755-11df-903b-001cc4c002e0.html?oCampaign=hottopics)

Read about the workers’ compensation hearing here: http://decisions.iowaworkforce.org/workerscomp/2008/February/FAUR,%20JUSTIN%20-%205016580A.doc

For volunteer firefighters, the argument often comes up that, since most don’t have assigned shifts, that line between on duty and off duty becomes very blurred. In this case, it appears that the question may be: when is a volunteer firefighter acting as a firefighter or as a private citizen with firefighter training?

In my opinion, our government and our judicial system can’t seem to reconcile legislation and its interpretation that affect some of the distinct, cultural differences between career and volunteer fire departments.

Career firefighters have clearly defined on-duty and off-duty hours. A shift for them is usually 24 hours and is spent at the fire station. They don’t punch a time clock, but time sheets are kept for payroll purposes. They can be “re-called”, if a large incident requires additional manpower. They are dispatched through a central dispatching agency.

A volunteer firefighter is theoretically available 24 hours a day, if they are within their response area, can leave their full time job to respond or the other activities that fill their lives.

It is not unusual for volunteer firefighters to witness an emergency in their fire district and to call it in to a dispatching center, expecting the appropriate agency to be dispatched. When possible, the firefighter will initiate assistance, if it is within their scope of training and it is safe to do so.

It was clear that Iowa Workers Compensation Commissioner Christopher Godfrey understood the volunteer firefighter culture in his initial ruling in favor of Justin Faur’s survivors.

So, when is a volunteer “on the clock”?

In my opinion, the clock begins as soon as the firefighter recognizes the existence of an emergency that requires the assistance of his fire department, makes the call to the dispatching agency or has someone else call 911 and they can begin to render aid, however limited.

For a judge to say that a volunteer firefighter is not “on the clock” at that point is to remove a very key component that is critical to life safety issues in the rural setting. It also flies against the ideal of “neighbors helping neighbors”.

Again; Commissioner Godfrey “gets it”, as he recognized the importance of minutes and even seconds where lives were at risk.

For this model to work in the eyes of the Iowa Supreme Court in the case of Justin Faur, he would have been required to leave his co-worker face down in the manure pit, wait for the dispatching agency to properly tone out the Andover, IA Fire Department and wait until they arrived in order for benefits to be paid.

Faur’s mistake may very well have been to not wait for his fire department so that properly protected responders could enter the hazardous environment of methane gas, but the strong emotion of having an unresponsive co-worker in a pit and a desire to help someone needing it was too strong to keep Justin Faur from risking his life to save another.

I don’t know what was going through Justin Faur’s mind at the time of the incident, but I know that anyone familiar with hog or cattle confinements understand that methane gas is a by-product and a dangerous one at that and I’m sure that Justin Faur knew it, too. He entered the pit, knowing the danger. Very few “private citizens” would have done it and some firefighters might not have, but Justin Faur did.

And had Faur not been a member in good standing with the Andover, IA Fire Department, I might be inclined to side with the Iowa Supreme Court.

However; this is not the case.

Two factors leap out when reading available information on this incident: (1) As an employee, Faur recognized the emergency and had 911 called and (2) His firefighter instincts took over and he attempted to affect a rescue.

So, his surviving family members should be entitled to all benefits accorded to a firefighter; be it insurance death benefits, PSOBs or workers compensation benefits from his fire department.

If the Iowa Supreme Court doesn’t see it that way, then in my opinion, the case should be appealed at the federal level, up to and including the U.S. Supreme Court.

When you tell someone to call 911, the presumption is that they will call and the appropriate emergency agencies will respond.

Firefighter Justin Faur did NOT self-dispatch.

He placed “self” above all else and paid the ultimate sacrifice with his life.

And that is not Emotion speaking; that is Logic and Fact speaking.

I oppose the practices of self-dispatching and jumping calls and that isn’t the issue here.

In my past, I witnessed many incidents, called them in and went to work in my capacity as a volunteer firefighter. Period.

Faur might very well have initiated his rescue, anticipating that the additional help of his fire department would be there very soon. Who would know that any better than someone who had been on that department for the past two and a half years?

Under “normal” circumstances, this would be a subrogation issue between two insurance companies, but in this case, the Iowa Supreme Court chose to trash a very logical and articulate decision by Commissioner Godfrey and narrow the language/definition of “summoned to duty only through official channels”. And the Court is basing THAT on the assumption that Faur did not receive the pager tones.

If the Iowa Supreme Court’s decision in this matter is allowed to stand, then the entire volunteer response system may come under their review.

As an example: imagine if they would rule that you are not covered as a firefighter while in your personal vehicle on your way to the station or to a call.

Tell me that wouldn’t significantly change the landscape of what volunteer fire departments do!

THIS case needs further review AND further discussion.

Let me know your thoughts.

TCSS.

The article submitted is protected by federal copyright laws under The Adventures of Jake and Vinnie© umbrella. It cannot be re-produced in any form without the expressed written permission of the author Art Goodrich, also known as ChiefReason. Please visit www.fireemsblogs.com and my blog www.chiefreasonart.com.

Posted by chiefreason on August 16, 2010 • Filed under: My Size Up • Tagged: , , , , , ,

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-08-15

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Posted by admin on August 15, 2010 • Filed under: Uncategorized

Look For The Hook

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Look For the Hook

Many of us took similar paths into the fire service.

For some, it was for the opportunity to help someone in a time of need.

For others, it presented an opportunity to give back to their communities.

Privately, the excitement that a call could generate fueled an adrenaline spike that would explode into the ultimate struggle of Good vs. Evil.

There is no question that most firefighters want to be seen in the best light, held in the highest regard and looked upon as someone who can be trusted with the lives and properties in their communities.

We have trained to keep skills sharpened and up-to-date, while paying our respects to the fire service’s rich history and tradition.

Some of us have been drawn into reading volumes on fire history to an almost obsessive level. Though reading about Benjamin Franklin and his formation of the nation’s first volunteer fire department does little to enhance our skill sets, we recognize its importance to rounding out our personas as firefighters.

And that brings me to the purpose of this blog or rather, this question:

Are the motivating factors that shaped us 30 years ago still fueling the candidates entering the fire service today?

Are kids still “running to the curb”-as Tiger would say-to see the fire truck go by on its way to a call?

Are kids who have not grown up in a house where there have been generations of firefighters finding their own way into the fire service?

What is kick-starting that desire in the next generation of firefighters?

Will firefighter jobs be plentiful with the retirements of the 50/60-somethings or will they fall prey to budget constraints and destroy the dreams of those who wish to serve?

When you examine the cultural differences of today vs. 1980, you can see how societal changes have affected the perceptual inclinations of our newest firefighters.

What people my age perceived upon entering the fire service was an almost paramilitary, clandestine brotherhood.

Nothing left the confines of the fire station. Discussions and disputes started and ended at the fire station. Each man “covered” for the other, regardless of the circumstances. At the very least, they “didn’t know anything”.

The perception was that the fire department had to be seen as a group of honorable and rational men, capable of making split-second decisions in life and death situations.

Investigations into firefighter deaths would hardly ever go far enough as to reveal any damaging or damning facts that could impugn the dignity of the deceased and otherwise could bring shame or embarrassment to the grieving family. Some called it “extending a professional courtesy”.

And besides; even if something “unseemly” did make it to the news, it was local; where it stayed.

But today?

Everything and everyone is on the fast track.

Short bursts and short bites followed by copious amounts of diverse and sometimes perverse information can quickly lull us into overload mode.

We are not attracted to any, one subject; we do not want to “specialize”.

We are de facto game show contestants, vying to show our deep reservoir of general knowledge.

We want to do something today, but do something entirely different tomorrow.

And we don’t want to do anything that is going to chew up large chunks of our time. That feels too much like a job!

So; how do we get a hook into the newbies and reel them in?

How can a fire department match their training programs to candidates who are not fond of repetition or being told incessantly what to do, for that matter?

I have always been a traditionalist where it comes to the fire department. But, I am also a realist. I honestly believe that it is important to cite fire department history and some of the nation’s, major fire service milestones into perpetuity. Knowing why a ceremony is a time-honored tradition brings honor and dignity to the act and we must carry that forward.

Where we can jack it up for the next generation is in the training and how it is presented. Challenge them to improve the process. Let them drill with the music on. Turn it off if it’s a distraction or they are not drilling correctly. Find out what trips their trigger and then trip it.

What I learned from my days of fishing is that the biggest hook didn’t necessarily catch the biggest fish, but it made it harder for the fish to get off of the hook.

So, look for the right hook…

And don’t forget the bait!

TCSS.

This article is protected by federal copyright laws under The Adventures of Jake and Vinnie© umbrella. It cannot be reproduced in any form without the expressed, written permission of the author, Art Goodrich aka ChiefReason.

Please visit www.fireemsblogs.com and my blog at www.chiefreasonart.com.

Posted by chiefreason on August 10, 2010 • Filed under: My Size Up • Tagged: , , , , ,

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-08-08

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Posted by admin on August 8, 2010 • Filed under: Uncategorized

FirefighterNetcast Rewind

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Last week was my third podcast for my show, “FirefighterNetcast Presents The Voice of Reason”.

My guests for that show were Shawn Longerich, Executive Director for the Cyanide Poisoning Treatment Coalition and Dr. Alan Miller, an expert on many chemical agents, such as hydrogen cyanide (HCN); the topic of my program. Dr. Miller and Shawn were extremely knowledgeable on the subject of cyanide poisoning and their advocacy on behalf of those who might experience an exposure to chemical agents is undeniable.

Having guests that you feel at ease with certainly makes for a fluid show. You hope that the audience is every bit as interested in the guests as the host is. I research my guests and the topics that we will discuss to reduce the likelihood that long “gaps” will appear through out the interview.

That is why I had Dave Leblanc, a jake from Harwich, MA on my very first show. I knew that we could create an energy that would come through in the interview and capture the audience in that “around the kitchen table” banter style. I enjoyed that first show immensely, thanks to Dave and my callers.

I had State Representative Don Moffitt on as my guest for the second show in an effort to create a map for firefighters who struggle with the political landscape of the fire service. I realize that Don is not your typical legislator, which is exactly why I asked him to do the podcast.

The legislative process, otherwise known as the political system, can be overwhelming, if you lack the knowledge and the patience to deal with it. I can think of no one better to teach that.

As a former school teacher, Don brings his knowledge and patience along to educate those who are interested in learning the legislative process.

My next show will be Tuesday, August 24th at 9:00 PM EDT.

My guest will be John Kriska of www.kriskafiretraining.com. We will be discussing positive pressure ventilation (PPV); the do’s and don’ts and the “what ifs”.

Though I have several more guests who have already committed to doing the Voice of Reason, I will also be doing a call-in show, where callers can rant about whatever is on their mind…as long as they keep it “clean”!

I wasn’t sure how I would react to the medium, let alone how the audience would react to me, but I am told that feedback has been positive.

With Rhett Fleitz, John Mitchell, Tiger Schmittendorf and Chris Naum on the FirefighterNetcast team, it challenges us all to bring our A-game every time and to strive to “hit the home run”.

If you haven’t had the opportunity to check out FirefighterNetcast, I would encourage you to do so. You can listen live on show night; you can go to the archived shows at both FirefighterNetcast and BlogTalkRadio or you can download the shows from iTunes for free.

Even FireGeezer is giving us a shout out on the days of the shows.

So that you know that FirefighterNetcast is truly a team effort, it would not be possible without FirefighterNation, FireRescue, Go Forward Media, Elsevier and of course, the producers-the Dynamic Duo of John Mitchell and Rhett Fleitz.

It has been a blast so far.

I will see some of you in a few weeks at Fire Rescue International in Chicago.

I will be the serious-looking guy in the funny hat!

TCSS.

Posted by chiefreason on August 4, 2010 • Filed under: Miscellaneous • Tagged: , , , ,

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-08-01

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Posted by admin on August 1, 2010 • Filed under: Uncategorized

Kids Are Like Cats; Mayors Are Like Zombies!

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Brains!

What was that? Did anyone else hear that?

Brains!!

Hmmm. It sounds like it’s getting closer. It sounds like someone is saying ‘change’.

BRAINS!!!

WOW; did you see that? They looked like…I thought…THEY ARE…THEY’RE…

ZOMBIES!

Or…

They could be your mayor and city council.

More on that later, but first; a zombie, teachable moment!

It has been suggested that the zombie virus called “Zombititus” was unleashed upon the world when archeologists and/or thieves disturbed the mummies in the ancient tombs of Egypt.

In these first encounters with infected tombs, a long dormant disease was contracted by these early adventurers and passed on through the years from being bitten by someone with the virus or by getting zombie blood into the bloodstream, probably through an open wound or mucous membrane (let’s say ‘mouth’ to avoid any unpleasant, mental pictures).

Symptoms can be very obvious or very innocuous. For instance:

If you are bitten, the wound site will turn black. To avoid detection, I would recommend covering it with a really cool tattoo or wear clothing that will cover it up.

Many zombies may look “normal” and actually do uncomplicated tasks like running for public office as a mayor or city council member, as an example.

Once bitten, you will start feeling delusional and unaware of what is going on. That’s almost a pre-requisite for politics right there!

Then, you will have difficulty performing even the easiest tasks. Bodily functions will decelerate as the mind deteriorates. You will no longer feel pain. I think we’re on to something here.

You “die”, but come back to walk the Earth as the living dead or undead.

You have just entered the political arena where the zombies want to suck out your brains, in order to live and to give life to new zombies. Get ready for that very cool tattoo!

Unbeknownst to you, you are going to attend a city council meeting, which, in fact is a zombie, coming-out party. You are on the guest list. You also happen to be the fire chief awaiting your turn to discuss your budget.

As I sit there, I struggle to hear what is being said.

‘Perhaps you could move closer to the microphone?’

Wait; did that guy’s arm just fall off? I have to cut back on the caffeine.

Finally, the mayor is pointing at me and mumbling something that I can’t understand.

As I go to the podium with notes in hand, I notice that they are all looking at me, mumbling amongst themselves, looking at me, more mumbling-wait; did I just hear something about ‘brains’? Are they insulting me?

As I start my kick-ass, budget presentation, I can sense that the mayor and city council are distracted by what seems to be a smell/odor, because they are sniffing and mumbling.

This portion of the blog is brought to you by Vasoline Intensive Skin Care Lotion…

As I lay out my plans, which calls for closing one station and shifting manpower to the other stations; invoke pay freezes for non-union, administrative positions and an increase in contributions to the health insurance, it appears that I have upset them.

They move closer and closer.

Now; they are standing around me and I notice a dead, fleshy smell.

This portion of the blog is brought to you by Old Spice Body Splash…

They lean in and bite. They got me!

A couple of days pass, my transformation as a zombie is complete and I return home.

The wife immediately and incessantly starts in on me about the long, city council meeting, the drinking afterwards and the ‘you need to take better care of yourself’ crap. Interpretation: you’d better start paying more attention to her or you’re going to get a ball bat taken to your melon.

She couldn’t help but to notice my blank stare; the ‘dead’ eyes, disheveled hair and clothes; the pale, white skin and that almost black-looking wound on the back of my skull (Hit the shelf in the garage again, ya drunk bahstid?)

Well; I’ve had enough of her!

I growl, grab her and just when she thinks I’m about to get lusty and passionate, I bite her in the middle of the forehead.

‘I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Zombie!’

This portion of the blog is brought to you by Zale Jewelers and their ‘Zombies On Fire’ diamond collection…

Now, re-energized; I stagger to my chief’s car, fumble to start it, back out of the driveway and over the neighbor kids’ bicycle (‘It shouldn’t have been there!’)

Neighbor: ‘It was on the porch!’

Down the sidewalk I go on my way to the fire station.

This portion of the blog is brought to you by Hummer with the new, Zombie Deflecta-Shield…

I finally get my cell phone out of its holster to call the battalion chiefs. My hands-free, voice activation feature doesn’t recognize the name that I am mumbling. Frustrated, I use the key pad…1…1…1…1 as I drive through the plaza (literally), I fling the phone out the window, along with my left hand.

Well, I get to the station for the meeting with my top dogs about the budget cuts. Speaking of dogs; as I get out of the car, a dog scurries by with what appears to be a hand-shaped chew toy in its mouth.

I growl. A battalion chief hears me and comments that I haven’t had my usual gallon of coffee. I move towards him, but I’m too slow; he’s been drinking Starbucks with quad shots.

This portion of the blog is brought to you by Starbucks featuring the new low fat, skinny, gluten-free Zombie Combie. Order a Venti Black Eye and get a piece of goat cheese cake free…

As the other battalion chiefs come over to me, they are discussing my ‘appearance’.

‘There’s something different…’

‘You OK, Chief?’

I growl.

They call over the Paramedics. They chalk it up to the ‘hangover that always follows a city council meeting’.

An old jake sees the commotion, comes over and asks, ‘What’s the hub-bub?’

The assembled group says, ‘It’s the chief. He ain’t right!’

The old jake says, ‘That’s why he’s chief!’ (Rim shot)

A dog runs by the apparatus bay door and the jake exclaims, ‘Check his hands!’

‘What?’

‘Just do it. Is he missing a hand?’ asks the jake.

‘Yeah!’

‘Chief’s a frickin’ Zombie’, says the jake.

‘How do you know that?’

‘Because, I’m a TRUCKIE!

So true!

‘And I’ll tell you this: his chosen profession isn’t going to sit well with his Zombititus, because Zombies are scared to death of fire. It’s pretty much a career killer. He’ll want to go defensive on every fire. Guys will think that he’s gone ‘safety soft’. Don’t be a Safety Zombie, blah, blah, blah…

But, how did this happen?

‘Simple; the mayor got to him. There is no cure and it’s irreversible. A Zombie lives, unless he loses his head or his brains are completely sucked out.’ (Insert own joke here)

‘Grab him and hold him down. I’ll go and get the ax’, says the truckie.

I am struggling and mumbling and growling and trying to get away from their tight grip.

“Chief; you must have dozed off. We are ready for your budget report. I hope that you have made the necessary cuts per our discussions”, says the mayor.

And Chief is thinking, “Bunch of brain-sucking zombies!”

Now; if you were keeping track at home, you will notice many similarities between zombies and city councils. Let’s re-cap.

Zombies and mayor/councils are similar because they: (1) Are numb to all pain; (2) Normally, zombies do not respond to people; (3) Have no memory; (4) Are delusional or are unaware of what goes on around them; (5) Cannot perform simple tasks; (6) The mind completely deteriorates; (7) Have zero intelligence; (8) Have no eye/hand coordination; (9) Have no emotion and (10) Have no reasoning skills whatsoever.

I think you get the picture, but before you turn out the lights and go to bed, remember; Zombititus is REAL!

Which reminds me; when is the next city council meeting?

Sleep tight; don’t let the zombies bite!

TCSS.

This article is protected by federal copyright laws under The Adventures of Jake and Vinnie© umbrella. It cannot be re-produced in any form without the expressed, written permission of the article’s author, ChiefReason; otherwise known as Art Goodrich.

Posted by chiefreason on July 27, 2010 • Filed under: Miscellaneous • Tagged: , , , , , , ,