This blog was prompted by the most recent death of an FDNY firefighter and though, there is clear linkage to his presence at the WTC on 9/11, he was not accorded LODD status.

http://www.firefighternation.com/forum/topics/fdny-denies-line-of-duty

It is in a firefighter’s nature to learn with an almost child-like enthusiasm and then to execute with the ferocity of a wild animal. Obstacles don’t exist in our world. Problems are quickly solved. Emergencies are mitigated with precision and professionalism. The only fear is the fear of failure.

For many, the dream started generations ago. Their father, grandfather and great-grandfather served with honor and in the fire services’ highest tradition. The dream came out of the stories that were told and re-told and yes; sometimes embellished. There were stories about gearing up in the cab of the truck, feeling the adrenaline overtake you, the biggest fire, the hottest fire, most unusual fire, harrowing rescues, crawling down smoke-filled hallways, running up several flights of stairs to get above the fire floor, dropping to your bellies as the fire rolls over you like a freight train, holding the knob and directing the water onto the fire, forcing a door, pulling a ceiling looking for fire extension, cutting a vent, taking windows, making a grab and on and on.

Those stories and hanging out at a fire station would pave that road to the dream.

Shift by shift, day in and day out, year after year, firefighters have lived the dream. Many could talk about their close calls, what each incident had taught them, what was successful and not so successful, the many friendships that they had made, the unbreakable bonds to their brother and sister firefighters, the strength of their call to duty and the clarity of their mission. It was all fuel for the dream.

While working at the best job in the world, thoughts were turning to yet, another dream; the dream of retiring to a good pension and the reunions with fellow retirees. Sleep would only be interrupted by a need to urinate or by the occasional barking dog. Every day would be a Kelly day. Family would become the focus after years of playing second fiddle to the job. Your hobby would become a reality as you worked from boxes upon boxes of memories that would become several scrapbooks, dedicated to the many years of your dedication.

And as you come to an end of one dream to start another, you notice that a sore throat hasn’t resolved after several weeks of ignoring it. You see that cut on your shin isn’t healing. Maybe you are experiencing low back pain or a pain in your kidneys for no apparent reason.

Or, you are feeling fine, but you go for a routine check up, only to discover that the doctor wants to order more tests as a precaution. It could be that the colonoscopy showed something; perhaps a polyp. There is a spot on a lung or at least an unusual mass that requires further review. It could be that your urine is darker than normal. Perhaps your white blood cell count is low and you have no history of leukemia in your family.

You go home, thinking about your next shift. It may be time to pay back C shift for changing the padlock on your food locker. There’s new construction going on and it would be a good time to see the building without its skin. It would go nicely with the upcoming building construction class being taught. There’s a new recruit class due to graduate, so lots of activities will be planned to transition the probies into their crews.

The next week goes by pretty unremarkably and then the phone rings. The doctor wants to see you today. The test results are back. No; he doesn’t like to discuss test results over the phone.

You arrive at the office and check in with the desk. You thumb through a two month old People magazine, but it’s just something to do. You aren’t reading or even looking at the photos. You want to get the news; good or bad.

After a 30 minute wait, you are taken to an exam room and told that “Doctor will be with you shortly”. You remember that cell phones are to be turned off while in the doctor’s office, so you grab it and turn it off. You stare at the poster of the human anatomy, realizing that you weren’t too well schooled on the names of certain muscles, joints or bones. You study it as if you will be tested on it. Then the doctor comes in.

He shakes your hand and without so much as an obligatory salutation, he tells you that you have a cancer.

Your dream has just turned into a nightmare.

The doctor is mapping a strategy that you’re not sure is going to kill the disease before it kills you. You discuss it in general, yet optimistic terms. Maybe it’s a cancer that, if caught early, will provide you with a 95% survival chance.

Or, you have one of the more insidious of cancers; pancreatic. Pancreatic cancer, in its early stages, will not illicit noticeable symptoms. By the time you become symptomatic, you have a 10% chance of beating it. That is a nightmare from Hell!

And though you are surrounded by family, friends and fellow firefighters who have sworn to be at your side every step of the way, you are alone with your deep despair and feelings of betrayal towards your God and a profession that you literally have given your life to.

You could almost tolerate the nightmare were it to end with an LODD funeral and benefits paid to your widow.

But, due to faulty logic, bureaucracy, inexact science and a lack of indisputable documentation, you get a firefighter’s funeral and a promise that the fight for benefits will be never-ending.

Consider that; here you are, not knowing if you will live or die and dealing with all of the mortality issues, “planning for the worst, yet hoping for the best”, as they say and you have no guarantees that those you leave behind will continue to pay because of a very flawed system.

Many continue to feel the nightmare of 9/11. They have been affected in ways that we, who were not there, will never fully understand. A nation felt the loss of almost 3,000 Americans on that day; losses that are felt to this day.

But, the sinister effects of that day continues their nightmarish ways, because losses from a variety of illnesses continue to kill FDNY firefighters, NYPD police officers, Port Authority officers and civilians. It is estimated that to date, 800 have died; post 9/11.

If test samples from The Pile were found to contain high levels of known carcinogens, then how can we possibly claim that those who were there and continue to die are not deserving of LODD status and all benefits accordingly?

Why must we perpetuate this act of terror with the fear that, if you die, your honorable place alongside those killed on 9/11 will be but a footnote?

We must end this nightmare so that our 9/11 heroes can truly rest in peace.

And we must do the same for our brothers and sisters across the country that are having their dreams shattered by illnesses that arise out of the performance of their firefighting duties.

TCSS.

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